Breaking up is never easy, or so the songs say. It hurts. Someone who was a big part of your life, or who you hoped would be, has gone and you are grieving and picking up the pieces. Your heart may be broken and you may not be thinking straight, but we have a few tips to help get you to a better place so you can think a little clearer and get your heart aching a little less.
OK so it’s over and it currently looks like there’s no going back. Hopefully the person who has left your life has done you the courtesy of telling you their thoughts and feelings, and explained why they feel the break-up needed to happen. Hopefully they also spoke to you in person and didn’t use social media or text.
If the person doing the breaking up hasn’t treated you with respect, remember this is all on them. This says everything about them and nothing about you. The important thing now is for you to see and believe this. If your confidence is in tatters and your self-esteem has taken a nose dive, make this your priority to get it back or to work on getting it higher before you embark on another emotional connection. Also, remember, if they didn’t treat you well you’re having a lucky escape. Yes you are!! Tell yourself this until you believe it – because it’s true. You’ve been handed the golden opportunity by life of seeing how you need to work on yourself and a space has been created in your life for someone more worthy.
Start To Process
If the person who has broken your heart did talk to you, did explain the situation and you have had honest communication, this is so much better for everyone involved. No guessing, no torturing yourself with the whys and what ifs. You know the reasons and the score and you can start to process what has happened. Perhaps you have grown apart, or you want different things or your feelings aren’t the same for each other?
Let It Out & Let It Go
Try going with your emotions for a bit. Listen to sad tortured music, cry your heart out, watch films where the romance is doomed – let it all out! Have a night on the couch with your closest friends, eat ice-cream, drown your sorrows and then draw a line under it. That’s right, give yourself time to grieve, but then have a word with yourself in your kindest, but firmest voice. It’s time to start to move forward.
Try to let go of any anger. It is what it is and you can’t control what the other person says or does. All you can control is your attitude and actions from here on in. Staying angry won’t help, that said, you have to work it out of your system. Meditate, take a boxing class, run like crazy or scream at the top of your lungs.
Treat Yourself & Enjoy
Now move onto treating yourself. Take yourself on a shopping trip, enjoy your favorite bottle of wine, catch a show with a girlfriend. Is there a handbag you’ve had your eye on? It’s all about making sure you’re OK. It’s about behaving to yourself the way you would behave to a close female friend who was hurt. Don’t you value yourself just as much? Because you should, you really should.
With time things can seem clearer or just different. Perhaps the break-up isn’t for ever, perhaps it is. What you need to do is make yourself into a stronger, happier and more fulfilled version of you – whatever comes next and whatever your relationship status. Manifest your reality and dream it into existence.